Too much time.. and too little things... Wait a minute!

...reverse that.

The oddness behind the fact that I've been somewhat wrapped up in stuff is that I haven't had the urge to blog.  It's not that I don't love you!  I'm checking on my bloggy buddies often!

It's just that I've.. well...been talking to someone else.

Don't be offended.  He's a super nice guy!  He loves me for who I am and gives GREAT guidance!  Not to mention in my "still" time... we've become super close!

Before y'all freak out and call Hubby... he already knows and is okay with it....and for those who are REALLY freaking out.....don't panic...

I've pulled back to have had some quality time with God. 

I can't believe how much I've missed him!!

There are seasons when we forget what's we should be doing because of what's happening around us and I was in that season.  But, I'm getting refocused and God is working on somethings... so I'll be here and there and checking on ya..but, not so much on the blogging myself...

....at least for today.

Woo Hoo!!

I'm celebrating!!!

We're talking clapping and dancing and singing!!!  (When reality hits, probably not so much but for now... just let me have my moment, m'kay?)

Are you ready to know why there is so much celebrating?!?!?!

You're probably going to think I've lost another crayon.  No Worries!  Like I said once reality hits.... I'll certainly feel somewhat remorseful and panicked.  Maybe not remorseful but, certainly panicked..

Have I stalled long enough yet?

Okay....

My washing machine is not working properly! Apparently the spin cycle is not spinning.  Except for the fact I'll spend two days drying my favorite pair of jeans....I'm eggs-static!  

No more laundry!  YAY! YAY! YAY!!!

What are the kids going to wear?!?  I haven't gotten that far.  They weren't real happy the last time I decided not to do laundry and I had asked them to turn their underclothes inside out (KIDDING!).  

I DID finish this weeks laundry and there isn't beside my jeans any "dirty clothes" yet.  So I've got some time.

My hope is that it'll take longer to get a repair man out then to actually fix it and I'll have 3-4 days of laundry-free bliss.  Seriously... it's not in the stars or checkbook for the new machines yet. 

*******

I've been taking little vacays from the computer lately.  I needed some time to get my head in the game... Which I'm still working on.  I spent last week working on finding my kitchen table and reuniting with my children since the only conversations I  feel lately have been through sports type cheering or grade questioning yelling.  

This weekend...... I finished the laundry, figured out there are 51  shopping days left until Christmas, and began to make a list.  

I'm not stressing. 

My goal this year - Finish the shopping before the last day of November and enjoy the month of December at my leisure.  Monster is bought for (pretty much).  Buggy made her list from the Toys R Us big book and Hubby... well, he normally picks it out, hands me the debit card, and I finish the transaction and wrap the present.  Other than that... family members are planned for and just waiting for the right things to go on sale. :0)

Question...... I have a small circle of friends that I'm thinking of a cookie swap with.  Is it wrong to pick a night out to do that in the middle of the busy season?  I don't want to add stress to them but, I miss me some friend time.

Off to cater to the kiddos.

Resting...

My Retreat did exactly what it was supposed to do. 

Give me rest.  

I'm stretching it as far as it can go... Soooooooo

 I love y'all!!! And I'll be back soon!

I have so much to type!

BUT - not enough time to type it.

We are back from the kingdom.  I've been busy whipping the kiddos back into shape.  Buggy has been the hardest.  Apparently, if you are called Princess for 3 days straight by parents and strangers you think you ARE a princess and therefore after you leave the Happiest Place on Earth, you are still commanding the family.  So, the Queen had to "reorganize" her thought process.  We are definitely NOT in the Kingdom anymore, Tink.  If I have time and energy, I'll type a play by play.  It's a big IF for right now.

Birthday Presents....

1.  My classroom looks like a flower shop!  I got roses from a co-worker (3 pink) and Hubby (6 red) and I got an orchid plant from my team.  Does anyone know how to take care of an orchid?  

2.  My kiddos got me this Super Cool Tool Box!  Notice it's Pink.  Here's the thing - Yes, I do have a tool box.  I had one before with Craftsman tools from Nana and Papa.  However, Hubby successfully "misplaced" my tools from MY toolbox into his giant one.  (What's your's is mine...blah, blah, blah)  So, in order to avoid this again.  Mine are pink and easily spotted to avoid confusion of placement when used.  Get it?

3.  Notice the phone.  It's a Handy Dandy "smart phone" with a touch screen.  It's step 82 of many attempts to keep me organized and with a calendar... Amazingly it's working.  Well the calendar part is at least.  The phone and I have creative differences.  Something about operational errors and all that jazz.  Whatever.  Now, look closely at the picture.  See anything wrong with it?  Like the right side or top 1/2 is completely jimbled and jambled?  While getting back to one of the coolest places I've ever stayed (reference to Disney vacay summary at a later date) Hubby dropped (gasp!) the camera bag.  It's contents at the time were:  My favorite digital super-fast-super-cool-super-shot camera,  My second in command hand sized much smaller digital camera, Hubby's video camera and my Handy Dandy-trying-to-get-me-organized smart phone.  All in all... the fatality was minor EXCEPT now I'm in the market for a new phone.  Or WAS.  Upon entering the town we call "HOME"  the family drove quickly to our nearest cell phone provider.  I can not be unreachable.  Something about Super Mom, Capes, and Emergencies.

Only to find out that I had 3 choices. 

1.  Insurance claim - $95
2. Buy new phone - $140 - $600 (not-so-smart phone to smart phone)
   
3. Go to Ebay - $200-$300

Seeing as I hate the current touch screen and only use the calendar function, Option 1 though cheapest was out.  I can't feasibly spent close to $100 on something I completely hate and have to have for the remainder of my 2 year contract.

Seeing as I like the calendar function on the smart phones, Option 2 is out.  I can't pay over $300 for a phone.  I don't have $600 to spend (what can I say... I like expensive!)  Even with the Birthday money my parents sent.

So that leaves option 3.  **sigh**  

Thankfully... God, is on my side!  I found a phone.  It's beautimus!  I'm waiting patiently for it to get here.  AND... we were blessed financially through some unexpected $$$ in paychecks!  

Can I get Hip? Hip?  I need to wake up the kiddos.  Hopefully, it'll be in soon so I can take a picture for ya!

A Quiet Morning...

(Deep Breath)

I love it when I'm the first one up!  Even when the alarm isn't set!!!  I must admit today I'm a little giddy for two very different reasons.

Reason #1  

It's HAIR GODDESS DAY!!!

I think the decision for the hair change is a little bit of color and a little bit more length.(pause) gone. Don't worry... I'll find a way to post pictures.  Part of me wants to chop the whole back part off.  I'm also a little nervous about going.  Something that's super silly and selfish on my part.  The Hair Goddess has been trying to have a child for the last year and I spoke to one of her other clients and she's newly pregnant.  I'm SOOOOO Excited for her!!!!  I can't wait to spoil the little baby when he/she gets here.

BUT.

The selfish part of me is gearing up my calendar for the next 35 weeks so that I can make sure there are no hiccups in the beauty process if you get my drift.  My other fear is that I may have to find a new Goddess. (gasp!)  Sniff. Sniff. What if she really enjoys Mommyhood and decides not to bless me with her art creations every 6 weeks?!?!?!

***Note to new readers***  I'm totally unselfish with everything else except. my. hair.  Please don't freak out over my use of sarcasm and attempt to be funny.

Reason #2

I'M GOING TO THE GAME!!!!!

Here's one of those random things you don't know about me.  I'm a college football fanatic! Especially for MY TEAM and anyone else that chooses to play against the other team.

Sooooo.

My team is playing AT home TODAY and I have SEASON tickets to WATCH them in THE STANDS!

Hubby and I use this as a "date".  It's our bonding experience.  I was WAY into football before we started dating because of my mother.  She used it as way to yell at the TV instead of the rest of the family when we weren't following the directions she gave us.  Hubby's friends think I'm the coolest because I'm one of those fans that really get into the game -  more so than they do.  Not to mention I UNDERSTAND the game and they freak out when I join the conversation on plays and stuff.

Sooo all of that to say this.  

I'm giddy!

  I can almost breathe out of both nostrils (great picture...huh?)  I've been getting rest like no body's business.  My house is clean.  I'm avoiding laundry.  I'm visiting the Goddess.  I'm going to the GAME.  My family and friends love me.  AND.  I'm working on my MARGINS.

Yeah.  Life is Good.

So many wrongs...and it's still RIGHT!

Yesterday....was....GREAT!  

It was a No Worries day, regardless that I was unprepared.

I didn't even print my rolls until the first bell rang for the day.  (That's pretty BAD!)

My Flipchart for my SmartBoard was completely messed up so I had to redo it.  I absolutely forgot the reason why I leave my house so early (TRAFFIC) and arrived later than I had planned.  I was 5 minutes late to duty.  I had 2 visits from the Principal and one visit from the AP.  

Overall though?!!  It was a wonderful day.  My students think I'm absolutely NUTS.  I saw my students from last year and they were telling the new students how cool I am and that they better behave.  (Is that threatening?)  Even my more "challenging" students found a reason to see me yesterday.  My mother-in-law was like... "I told you so... "

I must say this.... When you are doing what God asked you to do... there is a Peace.  Alicia pointed it out perfectly.  I got a good dose of it on my drive to school.  I also had the Boot to the Head experience early yesterday morning.  

So, regardless of what went wrong.  It WAS a good day.  I'd forgotten WHY I do this until I saw my students. 

Off to wake up kiddos!

Control or Lack thereof?

Today is the first day of school!

I planned to welcome it with open arms until last week.  Which stressed me out so much it drove me to buy a brand new bottle of Excedrin Tension Headache.  I've been tiptoe-ing and squinting at  people for the last two days and searching for EVERY opportunity to put my head down.  I went so far as to wear my sunglasses inside until it became socially inappropriate and friends were calling me Hollywood.  

Here's my problem..... I don't have the least bit of control of my thought process.  Whoa... BIG Surprise there, Rho!  I mean....  I'm so stink'n focused on making sure that I get the material and techno stuff right to make the first week of school cooler than the other teachers that I'm missing (once again) the point.  Combine it with the fact that I've been dealt some pretty big "Attack" hands by You-Know-Who and I'm spiraling out of control.

I  had opportunities to speak to 3 friends that  were giving me Spiritual Spankings left and right and I still battled this "get everything finished" attitude.  I even went up for PRAYER at the end of the service that was about  being attacked and how awesome God's army is... and you guessed... Another one bites the dust.  (Hardhead, stubborn, blinded....)  I didn't have the opportunity to work on anything last night due to the fact, I couldn't stay focused 'cause of the monstrosity of a headache I had worked myself into. (yet, another surprise...I'm sure.)  

Soo... I wake up this morning with positive thoughts forced in my mind.  I needed a better attitude.  I knew that much.  I get up, no problems.  I get ready, no problems.  I fix God's Gift of Coffee, no problems.  Wait.  Houston?!?!?!  Why is there a light on over on the kiddos' side of the house?  It's 5:30AM... My ME time.  We're working on positive attitudes. What's the DEAL?!?!?!  

Me:  "Buddy?"

Monster:  "Hi Mom!"

Me:  "Hon, Why are you up so early?  Are you excited about 5th grade?"

Monster:  "I wanted to make sure I had enough time to get EVERYTHING done"  (A child after my own heart)

Me:  "I'm pretty sure that you can wake up at 6:00 tomorrow and get everything done and get a little bit more sleep."

Monster:  "Okay!  Can I watch TV?"  

Me:  "In your room."  (Still need to create the atmosphere of I'm the only one awake for my ME time.)

Okay.  So I settle in front of my computer.  After all... I have 1 hour before waking up Buggy.  I can get some stuff done...right?  (insert hysterical laugh of unmentionable proportion)  

Message on computer- Update these things please... Current update should take 6 minutes.  What on earth can I do for just 6 minutes?!?! Looking. Looking.  

My eyes fall on the bible study that us "Summer Moms Club" were supposed to do so that we'd have something adult to discuss other than why we were so frustrated with our children over the summer or even worse.... SCHOOL stuff!  Notice I said supposed to do.  I was stuck on week one for the entire summer.  That's where I worked my way through Psalms 139.  The name of the book is...Victoriously Frazzled:  The Frazzled Female's Guide to Restoring Her Sanity by Cindi Wood.  Okay, God.  I'll look instead of in my e-mail for my devo. 

Skip the last page of week 1.  Start week 2.  

Title:  Control Freaks

Yup.  Boot to the Head, Holy Spirit Style.

Scripture:  Acts 9:1-9 (You know, the story where Saul gets STOPPED by God and BLINDED.)

Yup. Yup. - Boot to the Head. again.

Questions asked:  How does being out of control make you feel? Circled 6 out 8 listed.  In what areas of your life do you need to hand over the reins?  Circled 5 out of 10 listed. What is God revealing to you through today's study?

Yup. Yup. Yup.  Seeing the pattern!!  Boot to the Head.  

At the end of the day or even the beginning.  Who's in control?  The prayer at the end of today's lesson gives me great things to focus on...

I also accept the fact that I am not supposed to control everybody and everything.  Help me know when to back off and submit to YOU and YOUR Authority.

p.s.  My head is SO much better.

My Summer Lesson.

I've referenced for a couple of posts about my working on myself.  Thought you'd like the background.

For weeks, even months I've had the same prayer.  I would pray this every night with the expectation of the next morning, waking up and having my eyes opened:

Lord, 

 Help me to wake up the mother you want me to be, the wife you'd like me to be, and the woman you need me to be.  Give me the strength and courage to speak out when I need to, the ability to walk away from the temptations of food, the energy to exercise, and the willingness to keep my mouth shut when I should.  Mold me.

.....and for weeks, even months I wake up and find nothing has changed.  I cried out.. What's wrong with me?  

Why aren't my prayers being answered?  I've asked for forgiveness and paid special attention to those things that I have trouble with.  I buried myself in Psalms 139.  I had mantras of the verse....I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  

I even went so far as to walk away from it.  Obviously it wasn't my season to change.  I needed to find the reason why God wasn't working on my request and after a while... I just stopped asking.  The thoughts were still there.  I just figured that if I stopped asking, God would think I'd forgotten and then he'd answer my prayer.

This past Saturday - I returned Psalm 139 - after being woken up almost like I was hit in the head.  It's amazing what happens when you give something a break.  You see something new.  I also am  convinced this is why we call it the Living Word.  It's constantly changing for us when we're ready for it.  The Word gives us  breath when we're ready.  

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139:13-14

Ummm.. DUH?!?!?!?  Follow my brain for just a second.  

#1.  I'm asking the Lord to CHANGE me.

#2.  He CREATED me.

For most this seems simple.  For me, it was like a CRACK in my head.  Why on earth would I ask him to CHANGE me?  

I'm just fleshing life out right now.  I want to match all of my friends.  I want to wear the smaller sizes.  I want to be the one with words of wisdom when someone is pouring their heart out.  I want to be Mom of the year.  Finally, I want to be the gifted speaker in front of a group, giving my hard-earned lessons to those who can learn from them instead of in them.

You see, the Lord created me to be me NOT to be like my friends...which was what my prayer was - I just dropped their names to protect the innocent. 

 Your works (that's me!) are wonderful, I (now) know that full well.

  (emphasis and the additional words, inserted by me...for my hard headedness)

That being said.  I'm working on becoming the woman the Lord has already formed.  You see it's already in me.  I just need to mature.  This is an ongoing process and I need God's help.  My heart wasn't in the right place when I was praying that prayer above.  

Thank goodness for swift kicks to the head.

I'm getting it.

A Lesson on Forgiveness

If you remember I was asking for Prayers last week for an event that happened last night.  

I'm happy to say that nothing happened last night.  When I say nothing, I mean that basically ---- we were in the same room together (which hasn't happened in four years).  She didn't acknowledge me, speak to me, or look at me.  But, it's in a step of progress that I was invited and that she stayed in the room while I was there.  At one point we had a "group" conversation filled with memories and I gave some brief input, which she did, after pausing, acknowledge.  There was also another point when I had to ask her specifically when they were leaving, and she answered that quite frustrated-ingly but, she answered it.  

It's a God thing.  I realize it.  He's handling it in his timing, not mine.  I also realized last night, there is a lesson to be learned here.  Actually, there is quite a few.  **Warning** Random thoughts and topics ahead.

1.  God's timing - Is when He knows we are ready, regardless if we think we are.  

Last night was something I've been waiting for and thought I was prepared for 3.5 years.  I realize now that it's taken me that long to learn where I get my strength from, when I should call out for him, and ask others to help.  The event placed several of my friends in the same place to support me.  I also know that his timing is different for everyone. 

Remember I said I was an "otter"?   That's a personality thing, I'm outgoing by nature and prefer to have good times and make sure that everyone else is too.  I also do things at full speed and forget that others don't.  God is doing baby steps for all of the people involved.  My heart is telling me this is because at some points, I need to slow down and for others.... that's how they are prepared to handle it.  

2.  East to West -  That's how far the sin is cast. (Psalm 103:12)  

Because we are human, I think we forget that.  I saw first hand last night how God demonstrates his healing and forgiveness.  My husband was able to go up to a person who had hurt him deeply, hug them, and tell them he loved them.  Here I was, dealing in my own puddle of hurt because of someone who wouldn't acknowledge me - yet Hubby was overcoming the same thing and casting out all of his hurts.  How different we learn!! 

Guess what that taught me!??!  It's not my place to stay in the puddle.  I have to cast out my hurt, I have to wait on her timing(which is ultimately God's), and  I need to love her as Christ loves me.  I know that I've asked forgiveness, that ball is in her court.  It's just time for me to stop acting like the grounded child being angry at waiting.

3.  My God is Good!  ALL the TIME!!

Over all, I had a pleasant night.  We were celebrating a marriage that has lasted for 40 years and has MANY more to come!  Great lessons, pictures, and memories were shared last night to a room full of family and friends.  The people we were honoring were truly blessed by the friends and family that were present.  God was sprinkling moments and memories for us all to learn from - and a good bit of us noticed.

Thank you, Father, for being real to me.  Thank you for always being there.  Thank you for giving me strength and courage as you voiced it.  I continue to ask for healing, in your time.

Thankful Thursday.

I'm thankful.......

I woke up this morning.

I have clothes that fit, no matter what size.

I have coffee to drink.

I have children to wake up and get ready for school.

I have a husband that will pray for me during the day.

I have a profession that I love.

I have a Heavenly Father that has his hand on my shoulder at all times. (even if it's to guide back to His direction)

Sometimes I wonder if we get caught up in what we don't have or what we'd like of someone else's that we forget we already have so much.  Are you thankful?

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT)

Praise Report!

Everything that has breath, PRAISE the Lord!

We're budget happy here in at Rho's house.   This particular month looked like it would be a busy one for Hubby to try and keep us balanced.  On the initial "budget meeting" - He was going to have to work 50+ overtime hours this month, in small increments, in order for us to make it work.  We have the annual baseball camp for Monster, Buggy's "princess" camp, church camp for a week, and then we're still paying off our trip to Ecuador that Hubby and I are taking in June with the youth group.  We also have to pay for the deposit next year on after school, the end of the year teacher gifts - that are made- allow for the new gas prices (again!) and other random expenses.  

But!! God is GOOD!!  Almost the EXACT amount (plus some change)  we needed to make it work arrived in MY paycheck yesterday!!  I'm not kidding.  We have it balanced out and Hubby doesn't need to work the extra hours!  

Combine that with the confirmation of some conversations I've been having with Fuschia and I've got all kinds of happiness surrounding me!

I love it when the blessings are amazing!  I love it when I can share them!  It makes me think about how wonderful God is and it confirms the good things that are happening....EVEN on the bad days -  Which I've been having lately.  My physical was good... I'm pretty healthy, if only he could explain the plain exhaustion I live in.  I'll be starting a test for sleep apnea in the near future....at 33 - which he's pretty sure will be negative.  

So that leaves 1 of 2 options.  Neither of which I'm happy about.  #1.  I'm a "young" married woman that has two "young" children and a busy lifestyle  OR #2.  I've got signs of mild depression - more due to family history.  While #1 seems like a logical answer, I don't like it because I'm getting 7-9 hours of sleep on a pretty consistent basis.  I've cut my "busy" lifestyle in HALF since I was working in the corporate world (4 years ago).  #2 scares the daylights out of me.  Do I have down days?  You betcha... I just don't know what to think about it.  Currently, I'm operating on the don't know anything policy.  I only know the words but haven't looked into it because I know myself pretty well that I'll put myself in a state of paranoia.  

So, I'm doing what the Dr. asked me to do.  Finding a time to exercise (back to the busy schedule), Finding a multi-vitamin that doesn't make me ill, and tracking my "allergy/sinus" symptoms to see if they line up with the fatigue.

All of that to say this......  God is still working DESPITE my bad days!  Praise-a-leujah!  I'm standing on his promise, I'm standing on his works, and I'm standing that I can do ALL things through he who strengthens me!!!  He's blessing my family financially!  He's confirming things left and right!  He's everywhere I look!!  (Do get the point?!?!?! - Bad days or not... he's here!)

Thank you Father for not leaving my side.  Even on the bad days.