Control or Lack thereof?

Today is the first day of school!

I planned to welcome it with open arms until last week.  Which stressed me out so much it drove me to buy a brand new bottle of Excedrin Tension Headache.  I've been tiptoe-ing and squinting at  people for the last two days and searching for EVERY opportunity to put my head down.  I went so far as to wear my sunglasses inside until it became socially inappropriate and friends were calling me Hollywood.  

Here's my problem..... I don't have the least bit of control of my thought process.  Whoa... BIG Surprise there, Rho!  I mean....  I'm so stink'n focused on making sure that I get the material and techno stuff right to make the first week of school cooler than the other teachers that I'm missing (once again) the point.  Combine it with the fact that I've been dealt some pretty big "Attack" hands by You-Know-Who and I'm spiraling out of control.

I  had opportunities to speak to 3 friends that  were giving me Spiritual Spankings left and right and I still battled this "get everything finished" attitude.  I even went up for PRAYER at the end of the service that was about  being attacked and how awesome God's army is... and you guessed... Another one bites the dust.  (Hardhead, stubborn, blinded....)  I didn't have the opportunity to work on anything last night due to the fact, I couldn't stay focused 'cause of the monstrosity of a headache I had worked myself into. (yet, another surprise...I'm sure.)  

Soo... I wake up this morning with positive thoughts forced in my mind.  I needed a better attitude.  I knew that much.  I get up, no problems.  I get ready, no problems.  I fix God's Gift of Coffee, no problems.  Wait.  Houston?!?!?!  Why is there a light on over on the kiddos' side of the house?  It's 5:30AM... My ME time.  We're working on positive attitudes. What's the DEAL?!?!?!  

Me:  "Buddy?"

Monster:  "Hi Mom!"

Me:  "Hon, Why are you up so early?  Are you excited about 5th grade?"

Monster:  "I wanted to make sure I had enough time to get EVERYTHING done"  (A child after my own heart)

Me:  "I'm pretty sure that you can wake up at 6:00 tomorrow and get everything done and get a little bit more sleep."

Monster:  "Okay!  Can I watch TV?"  

Me:  "In your room."  (Still need to create the atmosphere of I'm the only one awake for my ME time.)

Okay.  So I settle in front of my computer.  After all... I have 1 hour before waking up Buggy.  I can get some stuff done...right?  (insert hysterical laugh of unmentionable proportion)  

Message on computer- Update these things please... Current update should take 6 minutes.  What on earth can I do for just 6 minutes?!?! Looking. Looking.  

My eyes fall on the bible study that us "Summer Moms Club" were supposed to do so that we'd have something adult to discuss other than why we were so frustrated with our children over the summer or even worse.... SCHOOL stuff!  Notice I said supposed to do.  I was stuck on week one for the entire summer.  That's where I worked my way through Psalms 139.  The name of the book is...Victoriously Frazzled:  The Frazzled Female's Guide to Restoring Her Sanity by Cindi Wood.  Okay, God.  I'll look instead of in my e-mail for my devo. 

Skip the last page of week 1.  Start week 2.  

Title:  Control Freaks

Yup.  Boot to the Head, Holy Spirit Style.

Scripture:  Acts 9:1-9 (You know, the story where Saul gets STOPPED by God and BLINDED.)

Yup. Yup. - Boot to the Head. again.

Questions asked:  How does being out of control make you feel? Circled 6 out 8 listed.  In what areas of your life do you need to hand over the reins?  Circled 5 out of 10 listed. What is God revealing to you through today's study?

Yup. Yup. Yup.  Seeing the pattern!!  Boot to the Head.  

At the end of the day or even the beginning.  Who's in control?  The prayer at the end of today's lesson gives me great things to focus on...

I also accept the fact that I am not supposed to control everybody and everything.  Help me know when to back off and submit to YOU and YOUR Authority.

p.s.  My head is SO much better.