My last day of summer.

.. and here I sit, in front of a computer, in the dark.

I'm avoiding the laundry and other housework that I need to do because well... I won't have time to do it.

I'm avoiding the school work that I need to do because well.... I don't have time to do it.

BUT... after my pot of coffee (I'm splurging today) I'll be well on my way to organizing chaos.

I was talking to a friend last night about all of things I wanted to do over summer that I didn't do.  The main reason was because we were so busy doing the things we "felt" like doing.  For instance - I wanted to reorganize the book shelves that line my bedroom wall and get out a good bit of the clutter.  I "felt" like swimming with my kids instead.  So. I'm deeming this summer.... The summer of didn't do's.

..didn't do the organizing.

..didn't do the pre-planning.

..didn't do the laundry.

..didn't do..... I think you're getting the picture.

While, it sounds a bit like I'm down on myself for not completing the 8 lists that I started the summer with... I'm pretty proud of me.  We did mostly what my kids wanted to do (within reason- jumping off the roof of the house just was a little too dangerous for me).  I spent a good bit of my time with them.  Which ultimately is why I made my giant career change 4 years ago.  So, YAY ME!!!

At the end of the day, my children know I love them.  Not because of how organized my house is.  Which...it's not - I just stuff the cabinets and duct tape them closed.  They know I love them because of my time and my heart.  

It's back to the me thing that God has been working on ALL summer.  

As a mom, I find it hard to put myself first and speak out that my kids need me or want me.  There are days when I feel like I just simply was put here to carry them for 9 months and make sure there are no broken bones until they're out of the house.  But, there are moments throughout the day when a simple I love you or Thank you makes me realize that they do need me and I'm here for much more than that.  My children love me for me.  Just like God does.  It doesn't matter what my hair looks like (btw-THE Hair Goddess performed yet another miracle!) or how cranky I am.

So.. I don't know if I'm the only one out here in Bloggyworld that's dealing with that or not... but, at the end of the day.... I know my children love me and that's what counts.