It's Time.

Everytime I start to type this post, I start to cry. At that point, I deem myself not ready to deal or sort out my emotions and then log out and hope that the next day will be better. It's supposed to be my "next post" so, Unfortunately, I've been silent for a while. I can not guarantee if this will make sense in the end.

Earlier (2 posts ago) I mentioned that the World of Rho would be rocked (go here) It's more of a personal/selfish reference because as I process through, I see that this means so much more to me than it may to be the bloggy readers I have.

Tomorrow our church is giving a going away party for some VERY close friends. These friends are becoming missionaries. Following God's plan in their life with a GIANT jump of faith. Friends that can simply stand next to you and know that you are dealing with something internally, and wait patiently until you spit it out on your own accord. Friends that encourage you through simple moments of smiles, dinner over paper plates, and peanut-butter taste tests. Friends that help you through a monumental crisis that could ruin your family and not once pass judgement or stop associating with you.

As, I look on the front row and realize that they won't be there--- it crumbles me. But, I never want to discourage them with tears. I never want to make them feel bad because I know that their purpose and path is different than my own. I am truly celebrating their choice! Their gifts and hearts are for just a time as this.

I just don't think I could seriously handle actually saying "Goodbye" without looking like an idiot through the masses of mascara and tears....and because everytime I see them, I realize time is getting shorter...it's tougher and tougher not to break out into tears.

I may not be able to get this out verbally so I type. Not to mention...I cry really bad, complete with the quick breaths, squeaky voice, and sniffling nose.

....and so, It's time.....

Our friendship started with chaos.... one that I was in and you worked me through. With you're quiet strength and determination I was able to conquer a pretty big mountain just so I could jump off of it. Not once did you say what I should do, but only listened and gave me the strength and support to follow the directions I needed to.

We've experienced some pretty quiet victories and defeats through life's circumstances and events. There are serious moments when I have to stop and think...What would She do? ..and move accordingly. Through each and every moment that is special over the years, you have been there with me. Your passion and knowledge of Christ has motivated me to learn more.

There are few people in your life that truly bless you EVERY time you see them. You are one of them for me. I'll miss our random Starbucks talks. I'll miss our "family" dinners. I'll miss the birthday parties and singing side by side in worship.

But, I'm so VERY proud of you for following God. For walking out what you've taught the youth and myself....and frankly, just for being you.

One of my fondest memories is our first lunch out to Bianca's. We didn't know each other except through a very casual relationship. Before our drinks were placed on the table you mentioned about how you are the friend that would not ask questions....one that I could talk to...one that would never judge. That was my first taste of true friendship. I didn't have to give any more than I had to please you. I didn't have to be anyone else and you accepted that.

I'd never had a friend like that--and never knew that friendship was supposed to be like that.

Over the last couple of years, we had some amazing trips and opportunities together.

Wicked.---Truly, you've changed me for good.

Ski Trips.--ski lifts and hot chocolate

Camping.---Mud fights, bike rides, and S'mores.

Equador.--You losing your heart.

I won't say goodbye. I WILL see you again. I'm visiting you. I'm skyping you. and I'm sure facebook and e-mail will be pretty regular as well. Get used to it, accept it.

I love you, my friend.

The best part of waking up.....

29 days ago...I started on adventure. One that would bring me to my knees in pain and prayer. The first 3 days were the absolute worse...so much in fact, I chose to lock myself in my room and not speak to anyone. Unless of course, I was working or yelling at my family.

Needless to say we all survived. Tomorrow is the end of my fast and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't looking forward to my first Cup O' Joe. I've made some changes though. With the exception of drinking tea when we went out to eat, I've been caffeine free. So, I've decided to go back to coffee but decaf. (It doesn't help that when I told the Dr. how much coffee I drink daily, she almost fell out of her chair)

Decaf doesn't make The House of Rho any less chaotic though... which is another lesson I learned on this fast. Life does go on without coffee (GASP!) In fact, it goes a little slower. Not too much..so don't think I've found a pause button. But, life was at a slower pace which gave so much time for extra chaos!! Or time for me notice........

Any who.... Have a great Monday!!

Decisions, Decisions...

Last night at Praise practice a very profound question was asked.

"Has everyone decided what they will be fasting for the month of February?"

**Coffee** The still small voice tells me..

Mind you....I remember Hubby 'mentioning' something about fasting. But nothing about a month or that it would be an individual decision as to what.

My first thought was....."Stink!" Mainly because I'd not given ANY thought to fasting. We're talking Zip, Zero, Zil-CH!! Now, I'm mentally going through the massive list of meals, items, and favorites that I could give up.

**Coffee** Clearer now I'm hearing it.

But first...I'll need clarification... ME - "What exactly do we have to fast?"

Friend "Anything you feel the Lord leading you towards"

**Coffee**

Okay God, I hear ya... I just need more clarification.

ME - "If I choose, say, coffee.... Can I substitute hot tea? I..II...I... need something warm to drink in the morning!"

Friend #2 "If you drink hot tea...are you really sacrificing?" (YES!?!?!--But, not REALLY...)

Awww...man... Then in recounting the conversation with my pastor and reiterating it in a service...

SACRIFICE - giving up something you love...for something you love more.

********************

Fast Forward to today....

Day 4 of NO COFFEE...

I'm just now to the point where I can speak about it. The first two days were brutal coming off of the eternal caffeine kick I've been on for the last 15+ years. Chaos was certainly the term I'd use for my household, my work, and my life. I'm convinced that without coffee, I'm ADD. Not to mention the caffeine headache that brought me to my knees at 8:30, Monday night causing me to go to sleep before the kids even thought about changing into their pajamas. To say, I've been joyful would be wrong....but, I haven't really been mean either. So I should get kudos for that.

I've been super quiet. The fast will last for the month of February. For everytime I think, wish, or want coffee...I offer up a prayer and spend some quiet time with the Lord. Which explains the quiet part...I've been in prayer ALOT!

I'm working through the headaches...(I still have one lurking) because I've pretty much cut out caffeine all together. I'm working through some other things...but am out of time...

Until the next time!!

3 Days!

OH...It's 2010!

I'm reading New Years goals and resolutions and figured out I hadn't committed to anything for 2010. Seriously though, me making goals and sticking to them let alone remember them is a comic event in itself. Which is why I resolve not to resolve. It's so much easier for me to do that then remember what the resolution is, figure out how to add it in, and make sure that I've some how completed it.

I'm anticipating a lot happening this year.

I was talking to a friend of mine regarding Blogging. I told her I just didn't have it in me lately. Her response had me thinking.... She said something like this...

"There are times when God works on us internally and we can't verbalize what's going on until we are ready to share."

That, my friends, is exactly where I am. I'm being worked on internally. We're talking overhaul. I'm being prepared for a lot of changes. Ones that are going to ROCK the World of Rho. I can't list them, share them, or even put them into words.....yet. But, when I am--hold on to your coffee cups 'cause chaos will ensue.

Just thought I'd update.

Just to see it in writing.

Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. Even after listening to a sermon that all but stuck a neon arrow sign over my head and spotlighted me in a crowd.

The short version... When all was said and done...I survived. Despite the worrying, stress, and flat out expectations of ruffled feathers and fists....I came out untouched and ultimately ignored.

Which really was a let down to me....

so I asked myself...

"Self?!?!---Why are you upset? Why are you not happy that you were taken care of and not placed in the middle of whatever circle you thought you'd be and tarred and feathered?"

Before I could answer the internal conversation I knew..... Despite the expectations... Some things are beyond our control. Despite the outcome of what I'd like....the decision isn't up to me. You see when you add people into your everyday life, they end up changing the outcome of what you'd like to dictate. Something about choices, expectations, and free will.

So, I wasn't happy because what could have been didn't happen...which in my mind would make the situation easier to deal with. I'd've been able to flesh out somethings instead of dealing with them the way I should--with the one that can fix it and lastly...because it means the next time it'll be the same until each person involved will be able to overcome their part in it. I seriously thought I was through with my part...but now I'm "planning/worrying" about reactions to their part....So does that mean I'm through??

Probably not.

Pssst. It's the new do!!

My friends laugh at me when I start to talk about the Hair Goddess! She creates miracles with her gifting of making me beautiful. Thought I'd share her newest creation. I'm trying to grow it out. Whaddya think??

Veterans Day

I spent today with 300+ 7th graders celebrating and honoring Veterans of today and yesteryear...

I can't begin to tell you the treat we had as students pulled together as a team to work towards a common goal AND show their love for their country.

We've been working very hard on explaining to our students why patriotism and respect for our country and the current people who are fighting for it is so important. We also wanted to make sure that they realized tomorrow isn't just another day off from school and a reason to BBQ.

As I'm recapping the day in my head and remembering the kids shouting out thanks and standing out of respect.

They got it.

....and my day is done.

My final challenge to you is... will you remember why tomorrow is important?

Missing U.

P.S.. A special thanks to the photographer!! Love, Aunt Rho!

Happy Father's Day!

To the Father of my children, my best friend, and the love of my life....

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And... this is where I'm at...

Lots of stuff has been happening around me over the last couple of weeks. So much in fact, that this old girl only has the picture above in her head.

I'm still processing a good bit of it because I'm not sure which way to go. You know when you're at the crossroads and you see the mountains on the right or the valley on the left but, not sure what's right after that?

So you wait for directions....

As could see from my last post, I was cruising this past week. It was a cruise that I did absolutely nothing on. I never visited the pool deck... Not ONCE!

I did go on to both of the islands... #1 for a 50 minute solo jet ski ride in a group... Me in the water on a Jet Ski following a leader for 50 minutes.... it was nice but, like any following there were some sharp curves that I was scared of so, I had tense muscles..... Which led me to island #2 of some retail therapy...free stuff...and a massage/facial back on the Big Boat....which was extravagant and I recommend to anyone!! The rest of my time was spent reading, looking at the water, and sleeping.

Seriously.

I needed that much rest.

I hear you asking... What on Earth is happening in Rho's life that is making her so stressed. tired, overworked, and plain absent in the World of Blogging?

I wish I could tell you. I'm not sure.

There are some things.... like having a close friend relocate, work/training, and some more traveling....but, I'm not quick to place the reason there.

I'll be unloading/processing here for a while so, it may not be all full coffee mugs and flavored creamer... If you can't handle that... take a break for a bit..

That's what I did.

Soo... this is what I've been up to....

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The end is near......

...don't freak out.. It's just the end of the year.  Can I tell you how exciting that is?!?!!?!

I'm enjoying my Memorial Day by catching up on some chores and relaxing.  I've managed to finish two books and most of the laundry. 

This week is final's week.  Monster has 5th grade graduation, Mimi is retiring,  and I'm moving classrooms.  That's it.  That's the last of the "Have to" things we have left.  

And then Summer....

The relaxing days of renewing friendships, hanging out, and getting organized for a new school year.  

We (Hubby & I) have a much needed Grown -Up Only cruise planned in three weeks.  The Kiddos have 2 camps each... One being church camp (while we are on the cruise) and then Monster has baseball (with nephew Flash) and Buggy has American Girl Camp.  I'm throwing a week of Livie Lou in here too.  Then it's pretty much unorganized, do what I want to bliss.  AAAAhhh.. the life of summer.  

I do have one week of training sometime in June...but nothing to worry about.

I'm off to tackle the kid's closets.... Say a prayer for me!!!

Oh... What a Beautiful Morning!!

I've been leading the life of a single parent this week...and to say that the kiddos have challenged me would be an understatement.  This morning was probably one of the monumental mornings of the week!

After spending a quiet morning listening to my iPod alarm of Praise & Worship songs while getting ready..I realize with quite a start that my Oldest didn't finish his homework due to a late baseball practice...

So, I wake him up at 6:00...By 6:40 he finally rolls out of bed starts the shower and proceeds to work on the first of many problems left for his assignment.  At 6:50, I wake up my youngest, who sleeps like the a teenager at the young age of 7.  **sigh** By 7:00 she's finally crawling out of the bed...and this is when it becomes interesting.

I decide to change my outfit for the second time, and go to pull the clean pair of jean capris off of the back of the couch. 

   

There is a spider the size of an intertube on the leg of my very clean capris... Okay.. it was the size of a silver dollar but, still he was larger than life at the early hour of 7:00 AM.  

ME -(screaming) "GET it!!"

Monster -(screaming back) "Get What?"

ME - "The spider!"

Monster - "Ummm... not so much" (Grabs Shoe and proceeds to try and aim to throw at the ENTIRE stack of clean clothes --the shoe-a-nator)

 

ME - (angry) "Buggy!!!! Get out of bed!!

Buggy - It's cold!

ME - (angry) If you put clothes on it wouldn't be cold! (fear) Get the Spider! I want to wear those!

Monster - I can't I'm afraid!

ME - Me TOO!!!

Buggy - I'm COOOOLD!!!

ME - (angry) Get dressed, Get your hair brushed, eat, We're leaving in 5 minutes!!

Monster - Moooom... Get the Spider!

ME - YOU!

Monster - I caaaaan't  I have arachniphobia!

ME - So doo I!!!!  You're younger and can recover quicker!!

***Sigh*** So much for the man of the house....

I grab the CLEAN  pants, throw them on the floor.  Then grab the shoe-a-nator and throw it at the pants....successfully smooshing the 1/2 dollar sized spider on the fourth slam.  The now dirty capris are un -wearable!  I take them back to the dungeon of laundrydom (aka garage) to be washed again.

**did you catch the Phineas and Ferb references???**

Happy Mother's Day!!

The most challenging part of being woman... and the most rewarding and blessed...

Enjoy your day Moms!!

Why?

(deep exhale)

As you saw yesterday, life has been a little busy and the schedule that was posted is the "winding down".  I've been doing some serious soul searching as well... You know in those free moments right before I fall asleep from exhaustion.

I'm looking around and asking the question of "WHY" lately.  

Why do I set the alarm for  4:30 and crawl out of bed at 5:00ish? 

Why do I wait until Saturday to finish 18 loads of laundry when I can have an ongoing of some during the week?Why do I start a non-fiction book only to quickly turn to fiction or go to sleep?

Those simple defining me moments of curiosity that could in retrospect make my life a little easier. (minus the fiction book)

Oh... here's another one... 

Why do I post randomly about why questions when I have a million plus ideas in my brain?

....see!?!?!

Slowly but surely...

I'm getting there. The coffee is definitely helping and the fact that I'm a walking Zombie keeps others from interfering.

We have 3 weeks of baseball, 4 weeks of school, 2 weekend trips, --throw in a week where Hubby will be riding in the Policy Unity Tour (I'm single parenting) and then I will be in the month of June!!!  Which means summer, and friends, and camps, and sun, and beach, and cleaning, and avoiding laundry at it's finest!!! 

Oh..and then I think I'll take a day or two to listen to silence.  This will include locking myself in a closet of shoes because there are no more clothes due to the fact that I've got them all piled in front of the washing machine.

I've just returned from taking 200+ 8th graders to New York and Washington, D.C. for one week on a bus...and I found out that I'm employed next year!!  Which is a SUPER Bonus considering I'm still annual contract and 12 teachers at my school were let go...I don't know the final number for our county.

That's about all the time I have this AM... I really am trying to keep up...promise!

Miss y'all!!

I could never imagine....

I've been caught up in my own personal complaining spirit over the last 3 days. Mainly because I don't know or understand what I'm doing and it's putting me in a place that makes me feel incompetent....and then ....

Life is given a whole knew perspective.
Go Here.   You'll only have to read the headline.

I left just the link.. well.. because, it hurts too much to type a description.

I can't imagine what this family is going through.

Please keep the family, the students, teachers, and staff in your prayers. 

Breaking News....

In 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people.

 

I started crying when I thought of you.

Run my little crazy friend, run!

Well, what can I say?? ........

Someone sent it to me, and I'm NOT going alone!

Hang'n out at Nana's....

Hi All!!!
I've been vacationing at Nana's for Spring Break... We got ONE whole day of SUN--which meant annual beach pictures.

There are some professional ones and alot of random snapshots that my sister and I took. I know there are lots and lots of the girls... but, I couldn't get the boys to help me out!!

Enjoy!!!

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