Defying Gravity

I'm just now getting my first cup and I've been up for an hour.  I'm still dragging my feet and I'm wondering if it's no longer the fact of recovery but something else.

I'm in a bubble.  One of those that is un-poppable and you feel like you're just listening in on everyone's conversations instead of participating.  I've got a lot of things on my mind, none of which I'm willing to share for fear of an emotional outburst, that I don't feel I should be having.  So, I'll stay in the bubble until the time is right.

Random thought of the day:  

"Something has changed within me,

Something is not the same.

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.  

Too late for for second guesses,

Too late to go back to sleep.

It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap."

Defying Gravity - Wicked Soundtrack.

I have an awesome alarm clock.  One that I got from Hubby on Christmas.  I have the choice of waking up to the radio, the buzzer, or my favorite playlist on my ipod.  Obviously, the ipod wins hands down.  I randomly set up my "Wakeup" playlist to upbeat and inspirational songs to wake up to.  This morning's song was Defying Gravity.  It hit me this morning.  When I have my less coffee and more chaos mornings, this song tends to redirect a complaining spirit.  It's a learning point for the character and she chooses to stand for something she truly believes in.  This morning it hit me that I'm almost in that place.  I say almost because I'm not quite sure what I'm standing up for yet.  I'm pretty sure that my family, friends, students, and any others I come in contact with will see where my beliefs are.  My trust is mostly in the path that God puts me in.  I'm not perfect, so I'm not always trusting.  I'm tired of playing some of the games of life.  I'm tired of playing by rules that someone else thinks is appropriate and fitting all the while they are breaking them.  

I'm dealing with situations that I'm not used to and I'm watching how others handle it.  I don't like what I see so, I'm out on my own limb. 

Example:  I had a student who was visibly upset.  This particular student is at least 6 inches taller than me.  His girlfriend had broken up with him, he was teary eyed and bulked up like he would hurt someone or himself.  He was attempting to walk by my class (the one he was supposed to go into) to go somewhere else.  After I established that skipping wasn't an option, he came into the class and sat in the back.  His options were to talk or write it out.  He sat for 15 minutes stewing on how he'd present it to me.  Ultimately, he chose to talk to me.  The short version.... his girlfriend broke up with him because her parents didn't want them dating.  This is what went through my mind.............

World View:  You're in seventh grade.  There are plenty of other girls.  If it was meant to be, you'll get back together.

Heart View:  Honor your parents.  They are protecting you.

End Result.......I asked why she would go against her parents wishes.  He says... he's  not supposed to be dating either and therefore if he can do it, so can she.   I say... Wait.  Perhaps the reason why His parents don't want him dating is for this very reason - Having his heart broken so that he could focus on what should be important to him and that's his education... get this!!!  He agreed!!!  

There's more but, I'm out of typing time.

I need to get my kiddos up and pour my second cup.

TTFN.